ncbcsrhigh parents’ info

Why I like Facebook

September 25, 2007 on 5:08 am | In My Parenting Reflections |

In last Saturday’s Gazette, in the Faith & Values section, I was interviewed with regard to how Facebook can be a ministry tool.  I thought you parents would be interested to hear my thoughts on this subject, since most of you are probably faced with the Facebook issue in your own home.

First, an excerpt from that article, which was written by Molly Rossiter:

…Eastern Iowa youth leaders say keeping the communication lines open using Facebook and other Internet sites has become a common, if not necessary, tool for their ministries. Many have their own Facebook accounts and use them almost daily to keep in touch.
  Of the 26.6 million Facebook users, nearly 12 million are between the ages of 12 and 24, according to www.techcrunch.com  — the same group of people with whom church youth leaders are working. At New Covenant Bible Church, 1800 46th St. NE, in Cedar Rapids, high school youth pastor Mark Forstrom said he relies on Facebook and the Internet to keep in contact not only with current youth group members, but wth those who have graduated and gone on to college…He said the social network is useful as a ministry tool, as well, especially on emotional matters. ‘‘They open up their lives and their needs and their fears on their message boards, and it helps us to know if they need help.’’

I consider Facebook to be one of the greatest relational ministry tools I’ve seen in my 22 years of youth ministry.   It has become an itegral part of our youth ministry.  For those who don’t know what Facebook is, here are some basics.

•  __It is called a “social network utility”, which means it is an online community that facilitates social interaction with others.   The vast majority of our youth group members communicate primarily with Facebook. 

•  __Everyone keeps a Profile page, where they share who they are and what they’re into.  This page can contain basic data like contact info, birthday, employment history, school status, etc, as well as glimpses into their personalities and values: favorite songs, movies, quotes, books, interests, sports, likes, dislikes, and moods.  You can learn a lot about where someone is at by viewing their profile.  They can also post photos, notes, and videos.

•  __To see their profile or to interact, both parties must first accept each other as a “Facebook Friend.”   This prevents predators from knowing info about your child.   This safety feature can be disabled, so this is something parents should know and talk to their kids about.  Compared to MySpace, Facebook is much more secure.

•  __Facebook users pride themselves in having a lot of friends.  I joined Facebook this past spring and I already have 354 “friends” as follows:   high school (113), youth group alumni (163), youth sponsors (14), youth pastors (25), family (7), and friends (31).  Since your “friends” have access to lots of information about you, it’s important to be discerning about accepting friend requests.  This is something parents should know and talk to their kids about.

•  __People can join “Groups,” which are like clubs.  Think of a group as a webpage people go to to talk about certain things.  We have a “New Covenant Senior High” group, which has 103 members, where people talk about what’s happening in our group, post pictures (like our recent bonfire), and discuss topics related to our youth group.  We can send messages to all group members, which will come in handy if youth group needs to be cancelled due to weather, etc.    Other groups we have are “Mexico 2007,” “Combo Quad Leaders”, and “Praying for Kelly and Allison McCright.”

•  __People can sponsor “Events” and invite Facebook users to them.  It’s a great way to advertise what’s coming up, particularly since students are using email less and less.   I created a “See You At The Pole” event – about 137 people have rsvp’d so far.  One of our sponsors, Charley Snodgrass, created an event inviting people to his house last Saturday for hot dogs, s’mores, and Bible discussions–he knew how much food to prepare based on the Facebook rsvps. 

•  __Everyone has something called ”The Wall” on their profile page–a place where their “friends” can post little messages.   Because it’s on the profile page, all the friends can read what other “friends” are saying to each other.   It’s a great opportunity for encouragement and I love seeing some of our leaders caring for others this way.

There’s a lot more I could say about how Facebook works and if any of you parents would like me to sit down with you and give you a tour, I’d be glad to.

I mentioned that I see Facebook as a great ministry tool.  Besides the group communication benefits of Groups and Events, the thing that this “shepherd” loves is that Facebook allows you to get to know the needs of the “sheep”.   This is why I encourage the youth sponsors to get on Facebook.     We can look up any “friend” and see what they’re into:  what groups they’ve joined, how they’re feeling, if they are currently ”in a relationship,” what events they’re going to, what pictures they’ve posted, who their “friends” are, what comments they’ve made on friends’ pictures, what notes or journal entries they’ve written, and what videos they’ve posted.  It provides a wealth of information that makes it easy for us to speak Christian truth into the real and felt needs of their lives.  It’s as if Facebook gives us a window into their soul.  Whereas students used to withdraw into their own worlds, saying “no one understands me,” students of today are using Facebook to disclose themselves in a way I’ve never seen before.  It’s apparent that today’s teens want to be known.

I’ll give you a few typical examples of how I’ve seen Facebook used for ministry. 

1. A college student who’s never shown any interest in spiritual things saw I was on Facebook and sent me a message asking for Bible verses that would apply to a discouraging situation he faced.   It was a time in his life that he was seeking answers and thankfully Facebook connected us at a critical time  

2. One of our high school seniors wrote some encouragements on the wall of someone who quit coming to youth group last spring.  It blessed me to see her reaching out with Christ’s love.  I then encouraged her for being such an encourager!

3. One of the newer kids who I had never once talked to at church sent me a “friend” request.  Looking at her profile, I noticed “Marilyn Manson” under favorite music, and, having been a part of a Marilyn Manson outreach ministry, we subsequently had a wonderful conversation about it.  It ended in her asking for alternative Christian music options!

4. One of my sponsors saw that a student had recently joined a questionable group.  He sent this person a private message asking about it and they had a great online conversation about a Christian’s public testimony resulting in the student leaving that group. 

If your kids are on Facebook, you can feel good that a lot of people know how he or she is doing.  They may not be talking to you, but there are probably 100’s of people who are keeping tabs on them.  And if their friends are from our youth group, there’s a good chance that many of us will be sharing God’s truth with them according to their current needs. 

It’ll also be reassuring for you parents to know that whenever we see things of concern that you need to know about (harmful behavior, suicidal concerns, illegal activites, etc.) we will surely inform you about those!  And that applies whether the concerns come from Facebook or any other source!

So now you can see why I like Facebook.  Are there also concerns about Facebook that parents should have?  Yes.  Like anything on the internet, there are places within Facebook (groups, events, discussion groups, photos, etc.) that could be harmful.  Parents should encourage their kids to make wise choices whenever they’re online and dialoge with them about the many temptations the world offers.